"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Emmanuel asked when I walked in the kitchen. After driving around all last night trying to keep myself from cursing Bassir out I ended up at his house. No fucking body was home so I drove back home and went to sleep.
I've been up all night thinking about this one nigga. I ain't never been pressed over a bitch so to be pressed over a nigga is mind blowing to me. I can't possibly want to be with him even though that's what every fiber in my being is telling me.
"Nothing nigga leave me alone. All in my shit like you the damn cops." He flipped me off walking away. I'm not in the mood for his shit. I got class anyway and I'm ready to curse Bassir out. I tucked my gun in my pants and left out.
I got to class before everybody else. Bassir hadn't even come in yet. He still wasn't here when people started rolling in. That's not like him.
"Hey I'm surprised you're here on time you usually come in late as hell." A random nigga in class said to me. I glared at him. Fuck is he talking to me for.
"Hi I'm the substitute for today." A short lady said walking in. "Mr. Matthews is out but will be back soon." She was a good looking lady but the fact he was not here today only added to my anger. Fuck this shit I could be doing better shit than sitting around waiting for an asshole. I got up and walked out. She tried to call me back but I wasn't listening.
I called Luck so we could go over some new hires. Since he's coming I should be expecting Star. They have been getting close but haven't had sex and won't make it official. It's always some shit with them. Always a show of who's more dominant and I think that's why they haven't fucked yet.
"You got food? I'm hungry." Luck said as soon as he entered. I was at my home office because I couldn't stand being around people right now. Anybody but Luck would annoy me into shooting them.
"First of all nigga you not gon walk in my house and not say 'Hi' second you don't live here, you don't eat here." He plopped next to me and pouted.
"Please. Star is starving me at his house. All that man eats is vegetables and fruit like a rabbit."
"Nobody told you to stay at his house or even go with him." He groaned.
"What's wrong with eating right. You guys eat like cavemen, all that meat is not healthy." Star walked in and sat on the chair across from the couch.
"Don't play like you don't eat meat." Luck had a smile on his face. They are already being nasty.
"Okay if y'all gon be here and be nasty y'all gotta get the fuck out." They frowned at each other then back at me.
"What's wrong with you?" Star asked with his thick accent. It was hard to understand his ass sometimes which just added to my annoyance.
"Yeah you acting like you got a stick in yo ass."
"Fuck you." I sat back with a glare.
"It'll help if you talk about it Tyrell." I looked over at him and sighed. I need to vent anyway so I told them about Bassir and my conflicting emotions.
"So to sum it all up I'm confused and don't understand why I feel like I wanna kill him but also protect him." They nodded before they started to think.
"We told you to fuck him the first time you ranted about him." Luck shook his head.
"Nigga I'm not gay." We all went quiet after that.
"Okay I got it. You like him." Luck was the first to speak.
"No the fuck I don't." I spoke as soon as he said it. I don't like no fucking man I'm not gay. Fuck outta here.
"No Tyrell, I think Chance is right. I'm going to ask you some questions you answer honestly. Do you find yourself thinking about him often?" I nodded. "Do you like being around him?" He is all I think about. I like being around him even though we argue most of the time.
"Kinda. He's an asshole but not that bad to be around." He's funny and smart and he doesn't judge me.
"You were mad when you saw him with another man?" Luck asked.
"Yeah I mean he's a bitch for that one." I nodded.
"Okay Tyrell it looks like you like him." I was about to curse them out but I paused to really think about it. I think I might actually like a male. He makes me feel angry but safe at the same time and I get a strong urge to protect him and his son. I like looking at him, being around him, and his smile makes my day better.
"Okay but I'm not gay."
"Well it's only one way to test that." Luck said with a smirk on his face.
"What the fuck are we doing here?" They took me to a fucking gay bar. They forced me to get dressed, and dragged me all the way to a gay bar.
"It's a test to see if you like men or not." Star was smiling and leading us in. "I own it so we should be fine." We passed the bouncers with no problem.
Once I got inside I was ready to turn back around. Men were all around shirtless and dancing and laughing. Niggas was kissing and grinding on each other. I'm not feeling this at all.
"Oh hell no. I'm not gay this shit got me sick."
"Come on bro you never know. Look just go sit at the bar and try to tolerate it." Luck pleaded. I sighed and did as he said. I was sitting for a while before somebody decided to come up to me.
"I haven't seen you around here before." A guy sat down next to me. He wasn't ugly I just don't like niggas. Well I think Bassir is nice looking. Who doesn't though.
"It's my first time here."
"Oh you just came out." He had a sneaky grin on his face. His eyes were playful but I hope he knows he is not getting what he thinks he is.
"I'm not gay." He laughed. What the fuck is funny?
"Your in a gay bar. I saw you walk in with two dudes who are now making out in the vip lounge." I looked over and sure enough Luck and Star was battling it out with their tongues.
"Yes well I'm here for them not because I want dick." I was starting to get irritated and I just wanted to go home or call my best friend. I miss him.
"Don't be like that once you try it, I'm sure you'll like it." He touched my arm and my reflexes were so quick I punched him without thinking. He was holding his now bleeding nose.
"Don't fucking touch me." I backed away from the man. I need to be anywhere but here. I quickly got in my car so I could go handle my problem.
I'm so damn bored. Romero is still at Charm and Chad's place. I think they are stealing my baby from me. Josh is out of town for the weekend taking pictures of kangaroos or something. So I'm stuck laying in bed buck naked bored out of my mind.
I had to work today at the actual office space. Beau was there to make me laugh at least but other than that I've been bored all day. It was hard staying focused when all I thought about was that dream from last night. It's been on my mind all day and every time I think about it I get turned on and mad at the same time.
Whatever. I could be catching up on work right now instead of thinking about Tyrell. I rolled out of bed and went to put on some underwear. A loud knock came from the front door so I went answer it forgetting I was naked.
"Who is i-" I paused seeing who it was. Tyrell was standing there with a stressed look. He looked me up and down then a bright blush spread across his face. He was staring at my dick with a confused look.
"Can you put that thing up please?" I laughed motioning him inside.
"Sorry I'm alone and didn't expect anyone. Which brings me to, why are you here?" I sat next to him on the couch after I threw on some shorts. He was a little dazed and clutching the arm that was shot. I'm sure it was healing really nice since now he had a good bandage on it.
"I got into a fight." He said looking down.
"That doesn't explain why you're here."
"Well I wanted to be somewhere I felt safe and you were the first person on my mind." I looked at him with wide eyes.
"I make you feel safe?" He nodded sitting back.
"Yes Bassir you make me feel safe somehow." I smiled a big ass smile. "Don't let that shit geek yo head up though."
"Oh too late babyboy. I can't believe you got a crush on little ole me." His face scrunched at.
"I'm a grown ass man. I don't have crushes. It's either I like the person or I don't." He said. We looked at each other before he turned his head looking down.
"So which is it?" I asked, grabbing his face and turning him my way.
"I don't fucking know. Tonight I went to a gay bar- Don't start- I went to see if I could possibly be gay but I found out I'm not. Like men was fucking in front of me and all I wanted to do was leave. A dude even hit on me and I gave him a bloody nose for that shit." His eyes kept traveling down my chest then my shorts. His face lit up in a blush when his eyes hit my dick.
"Maybe you just like being my friend and that's why you feel safe around me." I know he feels more than friendship but I want him to say it. When he says it it becomes true and he can't take it back. Once it becomes clear to him it'll make this easy for me to either let him down or accept him.
"If that's all I gotta finish some work you can stay on the couch, it's blankets in the hall closet." I got up and walked back in my room. I'm waiting for him to creep in here and tell me how he feels. After about ten minutes I heard his knock. It was soft this time, not loud as hell like it usually is. I got up going to the door opening it for him.
"Did you need something?"
"Bassir I don't know what I feel I do know it's more than friendship but I'm not gay. I know I'm not." I nodded. Taking a step closer to him I gently grabbed his neck.
"Well I can't tell you how you feel, that's for you to figure out. Goodnight." I let go and went back to my bed. He grabbed my hand pulling me into a tight hug.
"Bassir stop fucking around I know you already know how I feel. I'm scared and you're acting like you don't see that. I've never liked a man before. Fuck I've never truly liked a girl before." I held him closer, rubbing his back.
"Tyrell I know how it feels but you need to say it not just for me but for you too." He looked up at me and we locked eyes. He leaned in and kissed me. It was a peck but it did happen.
"I don't know why I did that." He was still holding on to me hard in a tight ass grip
"Did you like it?"
"I didn't hate it." I leaned back in taking a hold of his lips. I moved a little coaxing him to move with me. He slowly melted into the kiss moving with me. I bit his lip asking for entrance that he granted. He pulled back resting his head on my shoulder.
"Did you like that?"
"Yeah. I'm so fucked." He sighed.
After last night I think it's confirmed that I like Bassir. He had me up all night kissing and shit. I usually don't really kiss females. I just kinda quickly get past that part. I get right down to the fucking. Oh shit does this mean I gotta fuck him or him fuck me. No I'm fucking him. Wow I'm thinking about fucking dudes well one dude but it's still a dude. Am I even ready to fuck him? I don't think I am. I'm cool with kissing but for right now nothing further. Maybe blow jobs but that's it.
I looked up and saw his eyes closed. Soft breaths were falling on my face. We ended up sleeping in the same bed and somehow I was the one being cuddled. My hair was all over the place because I took down my braids. Well he took them down because he wanted to see my hair out of the normal braids.
"You gonna keep staring, creep." His sleepy voice almost made me jump. It was deep and raspy and sounded so smooth.
"Ain't nobody staring. Don't make yo head bigger than it already is." I tried to get out his arms but he held me tight.
"Don't go, lay with me."
"Whatever." He was silent before jumping up.
"Josh." He quickly grabbed his phone rushing off. Who is Josh?
"Fuck you calling him for?" He shushed me rushing out the room.
"Hey. How are you?" He pulled on a jacket on his way.
First of all, who the hell is Josh. I know I didn't just kiss a nigga who got a boyfriend. A nigga haven't even been gay for a full day and I'm already the side piece. I'm out this bitch. I grabbed my shirt and shoes going to the door. He came back in as I was opening the door.
"Where are you going babyboy?"
"Giving you and yo nigga privacy."
"What nigga Tyrell?" He closed the door behind him standing in my way. This is giving me deja vu.
"The one you were just talking to. Bassir get the fuck out my way I'm not in the mood." I tried to push him but he was staying strong.
"I don't have a nigga Tyrell Josh was a distraction from you but I just ended it to pursue you." I paused. He ended something for me. "That doesn't mean we go out but I was hoping we could see where this thing goes." That probably was the guy from the other night.
"Oh." He came up to me and grabbed my hands. I pulled his arms around my neck kissing him. I didn't let it get too wild because I'm still new to this whole thing.
"Is that a yes?"
"Yeah nigga. You needed a distraction from me?" I asked. He must really like me if he had to find a distraction. I gotta be a fine ass nigga I got bitches and niggas after me.
"Well yeah you not gay and Charm kinda forced me to talk to him. He's actually my dream guy. Tall and fine as hell and he's super nice. I didn't want to continue pursuing you because I thought you would reject me or keep our relationship secret." I pulled away from him. He hyping up another nigga in front of my face. "I'm playing. Not really, but I chose you because I feel something more with you."
"Whatever. I gotta go." I pulled on my shirt and my shoes and walked to the door. Before I could go he stopped me.
"You're not mad right." I shook my head. I'm not mad I just realized I need to think some shit over.
"I'm not Base." I kissed his cheek before leaving. I drove home which took awhile but it gave me time to think.
I know I said I'm okay with liking him and I do but I don't know about being in a relationship. Bassir is fucking amazing for not rushing this but I need to make sure I'm not leading him on. I actually like him for some reason and I don't wanna fuck that up by being a ass. His smile, the way he teases me, his lips all, of that shit makes me wanna be with him but I've never done that shit. Is it right for my first time trying to be committed, be with a guy? He's worried about me keeping it a secret but I would never. I don't have a problem being gay because it's silly to have a problem with being gay. I just know I'm not gay but Bassir makes me feel different.
I walked in to see Luck and Star sitting down with a guy named Dave. Dave is the face of my gang since I've decided to hide who I really am. He works in the office sometimes but not often. We really only talk once a week.
"What's going on?" They all looked up with worried faces.
"The cops raided the main warehouse last night and took most of the product."
"Even the live ones?" He nodded.
"Fucking fuck me." I have more warehouses but that one housed the most important product. The more consistent form of income is creating a new identity. You get a person to pay $5,000 to turn them into someone new. In my line of work that's often. But the raid would have wiped out a group of people we house for an amount of time.
"Okay this is what you do, wait it out for a few weeks then I want you to start moving the product from the other warehouses to the two underground. Luck I want you to take the people on the waitlist and raise the starting price to $7,000 and then move them underground." My phone went off making me groan. I looked down and saw Bassir's name. "I have to take this. Hey Bassir."
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay and you got home safe babyboy." My face got hot and a small smile overtook lips.
"I'm fine I'll call you later."
"Grumpy maybe you should have stayed over here and let me make you feel better." I paused before sighing.
"You're dirty I'll talk to you later."
"Goodbye babyboy." I hung up and turned back around. They looked at me with a smirk.
"Who was that?"
"None of your business. Now I want you to go get somebody to keep watch of the other warehouses until you can start the transfer." I said talking to Dave. He nodded leaving. Star and Luck sat with smirks on their faces.
"So what happened to you last night?" I sighed sitting down.
"I beat somebody ass." They both sprung up. "But I did talk to Bassir."
"What happened?" Star grumbled out.
"We talked and kissed and he told me he wanted to get to know me more but I don't know."
"What don't you know?"
"I just feel like I'm not going to be good in a relationship you know I've never been in one and I don't want to fuck up with him. This is the first time I've ever felt like this."
"I'm sure he knows you're an asshole and if he doesn't, tell him your fears. My real question is how do you feel about liking a man?"
"Fuck you and I don't think I have a problem with it I think I have a problem with only ever liking a man at the level I like Bassir." They both hummed.
"Well at least he won't have to worry about you cheating on him." Star smiled before he nudged Luck before they both smiled at me.
I was almost done with work for today so I decided to call Bassir. Luck and Star were right. Instead of stressing over me not being a good boyfriend, I should let Bassir know. I'm sure he already know that I never been with nobody but he still him give a nigga a chance.
"Hey babyboy. Romero I'm going right out to the door so no monsters will come in. If they try, Imma beat them up, I promise." He answered. I smiled.
"How is my best friend doing?"
"He got me on monster duty. He said we can switch shifts but his butt is going to be asleep in two minutes." I laughed. "No Bubba I'm not talking about you. Okay, in ten minutes we're gonna switch I know." I heard a small humph in his background.
"You better treat my friend right, don't make me beat yo ass."
"Domestic abuse is not cute babyboy. I'd win anyway." I laughed.
"Yeah okay Bassir I want you to keep this energy next time I see you."
"Yeah okay I want you to have some energy the next time I see you." My face went hot.
"So I need to tell you something. I do like you -"
"You cocky hoe. Anyway I do like you but I just wanna tell you before we take anymore steps that I might fuck up and do stupid shit because I've never been in a relationship but I'll try my best." I didn't hear anything for a while. I thought he had hung up or was about to tell me it was over before the shit even started.
"I understand that completely Tyrell and I'm ready to move at your pace and I'll promise to be patient with you."
"Thank you Base."
"No problem babyboy." I couldn't help the smile that overtook my face.