Dr. James is droning on about Hamlet's inner turmoil, but all I can think about is my own. What the hell did I think was going to happen?
"We're adults," I told him. "Nothing will happen," I assured him. And we weren't in bed more than 30 minutes before we were both naked! Naked and playing with each other!! And now I'm getting wet again! Every time I think about his spurting dick and his fingers in my sex, I start creaming my panties. I am such a slut!
"What does Shakespeare intend by telling us of the complicated love affair between Hamlet and Ophelia?" Dr. James asks the room.
Am I in love with Danny? I don't know what being in love feels like. I feel something. I've felt it for a long time. I like him. I miss him when he's gone, and when we're together, I feel something buzzy and delightful. I've never known another boy just like him. He makes me laugh. He makes me think.
Now, he's made me cum. I let him touch me! Oh, god, I've never cum like that. What did he do to me? I've been wrecked since he left. I can't stop thinking about his fingers on my breasts, how they stretched me as they slid into my pussy, the electric shock when he stroked my sex, like he knew exactly what I wanted, like he could read my mind! Am I that much of a slut that he knew what I wanted just by looking at me? I am a slut, a total slut. I ripped off my nightgown without him even asking!
Oh, my god. We were naked together! And it was so much better than I imagined it would be, so much better than reading Lady Chatterly's Lover. And that was pretty hot. I've always wondered what it would be like to be naked with a man, and now it's all I can think about. His skin. His skin touching mine. His huge cock swelling and throbbing in my hand. So hot, and alive. Twitching and growing. And I couldn't let go of him. I couldn't let go. He was practically magnetic.
I don't know how many times he made me cum, but I'm wet again. I can feel my panties getting soaked. I've been wet and twitchy ever since Saturday night, and whenever I think ahead to next weekend... I want to do it all over again. But I can't, can I? What would people think?
I know what Lydia would think. She'd cheer me on. Oh, god, I hope she doesn't know. She was drunk as a skunk, so I don't think she knew, but if she does she'll spread it all over campus. Claire finally got laid! How did I get myself into this spot?
Except that I didn't get laid, not really. I managed to keep my virginity intact, at least technically. I wanted to get laid. I wanted him to do it to me. Somewhere around that third orgasm, I almost jumped on him and shoved that big thing inside my pussy. God, I'm feeling guilty now, just imagine what I'd be feeling if we'd gone all the way?!
I wish I was in his arms again right now. I wish his fingers were dancing around my clit and his tongue was making my nipples ache. Oh, my god. What has happened to me?
My college roommate is fucking her boyfriend in our room night after night after night. Lydia is my best friend, she's always been slutty, and I kind of envy her in a way. She's a free spirit. She does whatever the hell she wants to do. I'm a good girl; well hell, not any more. I used to be a good girl. Anyway, I was dying, listening to them go at it every night, but I felt trapped. Where else could I go? It didn't faze Lydia that I was in bed on the other side of the room. That's Lydia. She once stripped naked and ran around campus with a bunch of guys, just to prove that she was as daring as them. I think she met her current boyfriend that same night, actually. Rumor has it that she did him in the fountain by the library while the rest of the guys cheered.
Anyway, I had this crazy idea that if Danny would stay the night with me and heard what it was like, it would somehow... I don't know, it would make things easier. You know, we'd share something together.
How was that supposed to work? I guess I just felt lonely and wanted someone to sympathize with me.
Danny and I have been friends since way back in junior high school. I like him, a lot, but I've never told him. I'm shy around boys, usually. Always, really, until Saturday night! Oh, my god. I can't believe what I did. Anyway, I convinced Danny to spend the night with me. He went along with it. I didn't really think it through.
They give us single beds in the dorms. We were really close together. That was ok. Danny and I have never made out, but we like kissing, so we kissed each other for awhile, and, I don't know, there was something special about being under the covers with him. Something almost like we were breaking a taboo. It was exciting. And we were kissing, and suddenly it wasn't the same as before. The lights were out. I was wearing my black satin nightgown, he was wearing my pajama bottoms. I started feeling twitchy and hot, achy, especially down there. I started wanting him to touch me. I wanted him to touch me, but I didn't want to want him to touch me, you know? I felt a premonition that things were going to tumble out of control, but it was too late to stop, too late to change my mind.
And then Lydia came in. She and Todd were going at it, and instead of being revulsed, I started hoping Danny would do those same things to me. I wanted him. Hell, I wanted him to fuck my brains out, but we didn't go that far, thank God. I just melted into a puddle of radioactive orgasmic waste right there, right in his arms, and wow, did Danny ever exceed my wildest dreams.
Now what? I guess we can just admit that the whole night was one big, wet, sticky mistake. My God! I made him shoot his sperm all over me! And then, we made out in the shower that morning. Naked again, and I didn't even care! I am such a slut.
It was a mistake. We'll just talk it out, admit that it was a mistake, and go on like before.
On the following Saturday, Danny met me for lunch at Mario's and we split a pepperoni pizza. They make the best pizza in the world there. We didn't say much to each other. Neither of us wanted to be the first to talk about the elephant in the room. So we just ate and smiled at each other like idiots.
The oils from the pepperoni dripped into my hands and down my arm. That's part of the Mario's experience. I realized that Danny was looking at me funny, like he was remembering something. What on earth could he be thinking about? As the warm oil dripped off my elbow, eating pizza suddenly became an erotic experience. I could feel myself blushing as I wiped up the greasy trail with my napkin. He was good. He didn't say anything. But I could tell what was on his mind. It was on my mind, too.
And my pussy was beginning to get that twitchy feeling again.
Afterwards, we went for a long walk. It was a beautiful day out. He held my hand as we wandered among the trees on the campus grounds. There wasn't anyone else I wanted to be with. But we were back to our shy, silent routine, and we needed to talk.
"I've been thinking a lot about last week."
"Me, too," he said.
I waited, but he didn't volunteer anything more.
"Don't get me wrong. I really enjoyed everything we did. But I don't think we should do that again. I just think we should call it a mistake and go back to being..."
"Friends?" he suggested.
"We've always been friends. I just think we shouldn't be, you know, taking our clothes off. I liked it, I really did. You were wonderful. But I think maybe we should slow things down."
"Hmmm." That's all he said. "Hmmm." Sometimes it's hard to guess what he's thinking.
We walked a few minutes more in silence.
"I couldn't get you out of my mind this week, Claire."
That made me smile. I often wonder if he thinks about me when we're apart.
"I've been wanting to do that for a long, long time. I've had dreams about being naked with you, making love to you, but none of my dreams were anywhere near as amazing as you were Saturday night. You're so sexy and it was a dream come true to get naked with you. I loved every minute of it, especially being able to touch you and make you cum. You seemed to like it, too. Did you?"
"Yes, god, yes, I... I... God, yes, I liked it very much. I liked it too much. I haven't been able to concentrate on school this week. I was completely wasted for two days after you left. You're amazing. It's not a question of liking it or not liking it."
We were quiet again.
"You know what it was like, for me?" he asked. "It was like, discovering the perfect gift and watching your face glow as you unwrapped it, except this time, I was doing the unwrapping. Maybe that doesn't make sense. Has anyone, any guy, ever done that for you before?"
"No! God, no. I guess a few times, guys have tried to touch me, you know, when we've been kissing, but I always pushed them away. That's what has me so... shocked. I surprised myself, I suppose. I didn't want to push you away. And you're right. You gave me a very precious gift that no other guy has ever given me."
"So, what's got you upset?"
"I'm not upset, not that way. I'm just... I don't know... I don't know what to think about myself. About us. About all of this. We're not married. I'm a virgin. I don't feel right about what we did. I feel like a slut."
"What? Claire, you're no slut. You're about as un-slutty as a woman could be. You're practically an anti-slut!"
I laughed at that, and then I wondered if it was a compliment.
"What do you mean?"
"I just mean, you're a beautiful woman, you're sexy without throwing it around like Lydia does. You're a living, breathing, passionate woman, and you responded to a very sensual situation like any normal human being would. We're both horny. We're both locked up, afraid of breaking the rules, and there's a part of us that wants to just break those locks and get free. That's what happened. We finally broke free."
"We've never talked like this before."
He was quiet for a moment.
"I read something in the Playboy Advisor once. They said it was easier to talk to a woman once you've cum all over her."
I laughed out loud and hit him in the arm.
"It did not say that, you liar!"
He can always make me laugh.
"No, it didn't say that. But it is kind of weird. I feel like a wall has fallen down. No, not a wall, exactly. But somehow, Saturday made me feel like I can say anything to you now. Like we've shared something that has made it safe for us to be more honest, or really, for me to be more honest with you."
"I get that. I feel the same thing."
We were holding hands as we walked, occasionally bumping hips as we meandered across the expansive grounds, through the gardens, ducking in and out of the golden sunlight as we passed beneath the trees. We'd steal looks at each other, and neither of us could help smiling. Something had changed. Something had deepened. We'd crossed into a new country together, and all around us everything seemed different, the colors more saturated, our emotions closer to the surface.
"I don't think Lydia knows. I think she was too wasted to be aware of us. I'd die if she knew."
I had to think about that.
"What we did, what we shared together, seems too important, too personal, for it to become public. Lydia would cheapen it, I think. It was something I'll never forget, and it felt almost, I don't know, sacred somehow. I think she would make it feel nasty, instead of beautiful."
He just nodded his head.
"Is she in your room now?"
"No, she went back home for the weekend."
"Then, let's go back to your room."
"I don't know. Maybe that's not a good idea." Despite my resolve to be good, I wasn't feeling very confident that I would stick to my guns.
He stopped and pulled me over beside a giant maple tree and kissed me. It's what I had been wanting for a week. I let myself collapse into his arms and our tongues and lips and hands did all the talking for several minutes. Then I realized we were standing beside a well-traveled path. I pushed away and looked around. No one was paying any attention.
"Let's go back to my room."
Oh, man. We're in deep trouble. We had opened Pandora's box, and I wasn't sure we could close the lid again.
We quickly ended up on the bed kissing each other. Sometimes words are just a waste of air. We wanted to get physical again. We wanted flesh on flesh, tongues jousting, saliva, heavy breathing, and plenty of closeness. Danny's a great kisser. Long before our Saturday debauch, his kisses always made me quiver in all the right places. His hand found its way into my blouse and deftly unclasped my bra. Two weeks ago I would have pushed him away. Today, I decided it was a concession I could make. Wanted to make, actually. My nipples were already firm and couldn't wait to be touched. And he wasted no time giving them what they wanted.
Rolling my left nipple between his fingers caused an electric jolt to my pussy. Maybe my nervous system is cross-wired, I wondered? Did I have a nipple to pussy short-circuit somewhere? I felt my eyeballs roll back into my skull. I loved what he was doing and moaned into his wet mouth. Couldn't help myself.
"Oh, Danny, that feels so naughty."
"Your breasts are delightful, Claire. I think I could spend the rest of my life just like this. Why did we wait so long?"
I kissed his forehead. He kissed my throat, my neck, then he licked and kissed his way up the sensitive skin along the side of my throat all the way to my earlobe. He whispered loving nothings into my ear with scorching breath that lit more fires inside me, then nibbled on my earlobes. That always drives me crazy. The levies had broken and my pussy was at flood stage.
"Oh, Danny. Sweetheart. Maybe... maybe we should stop."
He kissed and nibbled at my neck, not listening.
"Oh, wow. Don't stop just yet."
Then he took my left breast into his mouth through the fabric of my blouse. I almost fainted. Somehow I found the strength to push him away. I sat up, straightened my clothes, and put my hands on his shoulders.
"No. No. We can't."
I was panting like I'd just run a mile.
"I'm sending mixed messages, I know. I want to but I can't. We have to try to go back to where we were before last Saturday."
He looked me in the eyes. He has gorgeous eyes. So expressive. I could see the disappointment.
"I don't think we can go back, can we? Wasn't it good? Didn't it feel right? Didn't you say that you loved it? I know I did."
"Oh, Danny, Danny, yes, Sweetheart, yes. It was amazing. You're amazing. What we did felt so perfect. Lydia likes to say 'it's just sex.' It isn't 'just sex' to me. It wasn't just sex last week. My feelings are all tangled up and I can't sort them out. I feel like things are happening too fast."
He got up and walked across the room. I felt like shit. I wanted him, but I was afraid of wanting him. That was the truth. I was afraid of losing control of myself. I felt pushed along to the edge of a precipice by my cravings and it scared me.
He sat down on Lydia's bed. I thought he was angry, but he smiled.
"Claire. I want you to want this as much as I do."
We were both quiet for awhile. Danny laid back on Lydia's bed and looked vacantly up at the ceiling. I thought about things and thought some more. There had to be something, some middle ground. I made a decision. It made me nervous, and excited.
He looked over at me. I smiled, placed my fingers on my blouse, and unbuttoned the top button. Slowly. Deliberately. Then I paused to be sure that I had his attention. I licked my lips, glanced down, and unbuttoned the second button. I slipped my fingers beneath the fabric and lightly ran my hands over my upper chest and my shoulders. I leaned towards him and locked my eyes on his.
Then I glanced down, took hold of the third button, and lifted it a bit, twirling it slightly between my fingers, tenting the fabric towards him before working that button free. I parted my blouse a bit so that he could see my skin, the deep cleavage between my breasts, and the top edge of my lacy red bra, the one I had picked out just for him this morning.
He started to move, to rise, but I held my hand up to stop him, and he laid back down. But his eyes were fixed on the gap in my blouse, and I rewarded him by popping open the next button and tugging my blouse completely free from the waistband of my slacks. One button remained.
I took my sweet time with it, looking away from him as I fiddled with it. Then looking back, gazing into his eyes, I smiled, took the last button firmly between my thumb and forefinger and ripped it free. The threads snapped and he blinked, smiled wickedly, and his lips parted. I could tell he was breathing more rapidly than he had been.
His right hand went to his crotch as my right hand parted my blouse, slipped up beneath my loose bra, and took hold of my left breast. I closed my eyes as I squeezed the rubbery nipple and gently stroked myself. That nervous system connection once again fired a jolt into my pussy, and I felt myself tingle. My thighs twitched involuntarily and my own breathing quickened.
After a few moments stroking myself, I wriggled out of my blouse, then slipped my bra from my shoulders and, smiling, tossed it over to him. He caught it one-handed and pressed it to his nose, then dropped it and started slowly rubbing his cock through his pants.
I took the hint. I unfastened the button on my pants, loosened the zipper, then slipped my right hand down, inside of my panties, entangling my fingers in my bush, splitting my swollen labia and forcing my fingers deep into the valley of my drenched sex. Oh, baby. Oh, Danny. This is for you, I thought.
I wiggled my hips a bit to make more room, then began stroking myself, rubbing slow circles over my clit with my right hand as I teased my breasts and nipples with my left.
I heard the unmistakable sounds of Danny's belt and zipper, and I looked back in time to see him push his jeans down, way down, over his feed and off the bed and onto the floor. He wasn't wearing underwear, and his beautiful cock stood erect and bounced a bit before he took it in his right hand and began stroking himself.
I imagined my own small hand wrapped around that living dragon, and as he stroked himself I began diddling my clit more rapidly, more urgently, suddenly overtaken by a need that I didn't want to delay.
I pushed my own pants down over my bottom and exposed myself to him. I should have been embarrassed, but instead, I wanted him to watch. Isn't that weird? I felt uninhibited in that moment, and it was a good thing.
His eyes locked on my sex and seemed almost hypnotized by the rapid movements of my fingers as my fingertips flitted back and forth over my pussy, the rhythm building me towards a release that I had been thinking about all day long. In my mind's-eye, it was Danny's fingers diddling my clit, Danny's fingers dipping into my pussy, Danny's fingers strumming a beat on my nipples that synced with some primitive and ancient secret rite coded into my DNA. My whole body was vibrating, I was beginning to jerk involuntarily, I had broken out in a sweat, and I knew what was about to happen. It usually takes me a long time to cum. Not this time.
"Watch" I gasped. "Ohhhhh, watch me, Danny." And he did. I was fully exposed to him, my legs open, my shirt gone, my fingers slapping against my wet lips noisily, when without any warning the orgasm fell on me like a 20-foot breaker and flattened me into the mattress. I pushed up against it, my hips rising into the air as my body went rigid with pleasure. I let out an involuntary yelp that became a series of uncontrollable exhalations as the most exquisite pleasure exploded through my nervous system. My breathing came in gasps, and as I continued to play with my over-sensitive pussy, I was rocked by little aftershocks that caused me to yelp again and again, until my body slowly relaxed into a dreamy, narcotic-like stupor of pure delight.
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