I have just finished reading an excellent story in literotica.com. I read it twice giving, it a five-star rating. It made me think about this story, which just happened to pop into my head within seconds. I have no idea why. I was putting pen to paper about another script and stopped abruptly. This story I had to get it down on paper and, out of my head, it was tormenting me.

My son writes the story. However, it seems like me. I have read this repeatedly. Since I am the author, it brings tears to my eyes and a big lump in my throat. I have just finished rewriting it with a lump in my throat.

This story as had a complete overall. Comments welcomed, hoping for a realistic score rating.

Enjoy.

Mums Secret.

By loveofmyLife75

We had been married for nearly nine years living in a rented house, saving a little to buy our own home. It was coming up to my sons eighth birthday Tony. I remember everything as it was yesterday. For a month and a half, our sex life was slowly dying. I did not why.

Just before, our, son's birthday Tony, our sex was now dead; I asked why and never got an answer. We celebrated out our son's birthday on Saturday.

Sunday I went for a game of golf returning home at 01:30 in the afternoon ready for lunch. As I walk in, I was starving lunch would be prepared. I looked at my wife dressed to go out. I said are we going out for lunch. Kimberly said, sit down Robert I have something to tell you. I sat down saying in a calm voice, Kimberly said I am leaving you for another man we are getting a divorce. The sound of thousands of bombs went off inside my head. I am taking our son Tony with me.

I blurted out why what have I done and who is the other man if you must know it is John Holden at work. I said he is not worth it, I better than him ten times over Kimberly did not reply. We both heard the sounds of a car horn. Kimberly opened the door saying, Robert; please do not try to stop me. I looked at the car my son sitting in the back seat. Kimberly said so very sorry Robert. Kimberly then left.

The months dragged by, the divorce proceeding lasted well over six months, and then I became a single man still deeply in love with Kimberly. I was given weekend rights to my son, weekends of 104 days a year the other 261 days past slowly without my son and the woman I loved so very much.

The day after the divorce, I open a bank account for my one only son, which I loved so dearly. I intended to deposit as much money in weekly that I could afford. Every time I saw Kimberly when picking up my son at weekends. I asked Kimberly, please; tell me why you divorce me. I always received the same answer (one day, I am going to let you know). I got a lovely smile.

The years passed by, watching my son grow up under the control of a stepfather, which I knew he was a bad one his values were not the same as mine, but what could I do. On every year on the day, that Kimberly left me for Holden. I meet Kimberly I prayed she would return, birthdays, bank holidays and Christmas day I prayed even harder. I started to attended church every Sunday morning with only one prayer, Kimberly, please return to me. It seemed to me, the god of love never listened. I stayed in the rented house hoping for Kimberly to return it never happened.

It was coming up to my sons 22 birthday. I attended my son's birthday party at John Holden and Kimberly home. I should have been the host but not to be. I enjoyed chatting with Tony and even seeing Kimberly. She kept looking over at me with a pleasant smile. 2 years later. Tony my son now 24, he had met a wonderful girl and was getting married to Kate within a month. At the wedding was John Holden, Kimberly and I and many friends of Kate and Tony.

I did not know at that time, Kimberly. She had been to the doctors he sent her to the hospital for tests. Kimberly had the dreaded big, C terminal cancer and had only two weeks to live she told nobody.

I received a telephone call from John Holden asking me over to, his and Kimberly home I, accepted. I said I would call tomorrow after work. I went straight to his house. After work greeted me pleasantly asked me in and to sit down, drink me said no. I looked around the room looking for my ex-wife. I said is Kimberly not joining us in here. Robert, I have something to tell you. That is the reason. I have asked you over he replied there is no other way to say this Kimberly is dying. I raised my voice saying she cannot be. She is only 45 and still young, impossible, where is she; I want to see her right now.

John Holden said Kimberly in hospital you should go and see her right now I flew out of the door racing to the hospital entered Kimberly room. Tony was already there sitting at the side of Kimberly bed, holding her hand. I busted into tears seeing the woman I had deeply loved for many years. Kimberly said, stop crying Robert, I am the one who is dying.

Robert, I must know why you never went out with any other women after we divorced. I smiled and said because I have always loved you; no other woman would ever match you, Kimberly. I always loved you so very much it will never leave me my darling. Kimberly knew it was true.

I said I would like to know why you divorced me for John Holden; Kimberly smiled but did not answer my question. Kimberly saying please give me a couple of those, marvellous kiss of yours. I gave her a short one. Kimberly said I want a long wonderful kiss I mean the ones when we were married. I put both my arms around Kimberly picking up off the bed and kissed for all my worth it lasted for a few minutes then I lowered her back on the bed.

I looked at my mum after my dad had finished kissing my mum. Her eyes were very bright mum staring at my dad with a cheerful loving smile. At that moment, I wondered why and never saw it with John Holden Kimberly said I missed that for so many years me too I said. Kimberly looked at Tony, saying, do not blame your dad for anything he never did anything wrong. Tony said, what do you mean mum Kimberly replied I was the one who caused the divorce, not your father it was John Holden who cause our break up. I said Kimberly please can you tell me why.

Kimberly said Robert I have written you a brief letter explaining everything to you. I cannot tell you face to face, however when I am have passed away, please do not hate me the brief letter it tells you everything. Mum, please tell us where the letter is. Mum said it is with my solicitor with instruction to delivery it personally into your hands. Robert, will you something for me before visiting time is finished. Yes, I will do anything for you know that another a long wonderful kiss, please. The next kiss I had with Kimberly lasted and lasted we broke Kimberly said I missed that in all those years without you.

I looked at Mum again after my dad had finished kissing my mother. Her eyes were even brighter than before and the smile, happier than before I wondered why. Tony and I left the hospital, Kimberly died in the night. I wish now I had stayed at the hospital talking about the years we had together.

At the funeral, I looked at my stepfather; no emotion was showing what so ever. I looked at my dad he was showing full emotion for all to see, crying the tears were rolling down his cheeks I had never seen a man cry before, I did not understand at that time.

Mums solicitor also attended the funeral and handed my dad the letter as instructed by my mother. The funeral over my stepfather said we are leaving Tony and Kate. Everybody had gone I said I want to stay awhile. He replied. I understand my stepfather left. My dad still standing there in tears, 10, atom bombs could have gone off at the side dad would never have noticed. I stood and watched my dad muttering to himself the only words I could make out where I love you so very much. I held my dad in a tightly embracing, me back. Dad, I am taking you home we went to dads rented house. Once at home, Tony asked me to read the letter from his mother. I said I would read it tomorrow when I have calmed down I stayed with dad for an hour or so. I left with Kate.

The following day I ate my breakfast a biscuit then I picked up the letter from Kimberly both my hands were shaking. I did not want to read it. I knew I must, for Kimberly sake. I sat down about 09:00 am with a cup of tea and started to read the letter.

My darling Robert I have always loved you.

I must start by saying I never wanted an ex for a husband Robert; you were always the love of my life and always will be. Please forgive me I always loved you and never wanted to divorce you, please look after Tony he and you are alike I love you both so very dearly.

Robert, the reason I divorce you is that John Holden was blackmailing me into having sex with him he knew something you did not know. It was a month and a half before Tony's eighth birthday that is why our sex life stopped. It was not because I did not love you. I could not have good sex with you after John Holden had intercourse with me for his pleasure. As I looked at you before, I walked out on you all I wanted was your arms around my body and making our passionate love to me there and then.

Robert, I was weak, Holden, was controlling me because of something he found out about me. I never told you my secret. John Holden found out. Even now, my secret dies with me. Unfortunately, John Holden still knows all. My daring I was only protecting you and our loving son. Please do not be mad at me. When I am in the grave, my love will be pouring out to you and our son.

My daring Robert that day I left you going to John Holden as you said he is not worth it, I better than he ten times over you were wrong you were a trillion times better than he was. He was a lover and lousy in bed the last time in my life I had a full orgasm was with you, one and half months before he blackmailed me into leaving you.

In all the years with John Holden, I had no intension of having a baby to him. He always said I wonder why we had no children. I said there are several different possible reasons. I made sure I was on the pill and hid them from John Holden. I kept a diary recording a morning check and an evening check making, sure. I never forgot to take a pill. I was never going to have any children to him. If I could without him knowing, I would have my tubes tied as well.

The years my sex life ran around me masturbating when orgasms came, my only thought was of you making love to me.

I had to do everything he said in fear of what he said he would do about my secret. Fear was his weapon over me I was just a sex object to him making noises making him think I was enjoying sex in all the years with him. I hated him and despised him with every bone in my body. Thinking it will destroy us if I have known now for these years later, which would never have happed. I wish I could turn the clock back and told you my secret and suffered what I deserved with my guilt. Knowing you would have stood beside me so sorry my love. I must tell you he bought our sons love buying expensive presents. I hated everything that Holden did for Tony, and I have regretted that day I left you.

Robert Three weeks ago, I had been watching a programme on TV. The story was the same as my secret the woman involved. Return to her husband in less than three years. I was so angry with myself knowing you would have stood by me. Our life would have been ok. Robert, I will love you forever and ever.

Please forgive me, my love. Kimberly.

I read the letter at least a dozen times. I looked at the photograph of Kimberly love of my life.

I picked up the telephone and asked John Holden would he please do two things for me he replied yes please look after your stepson he loves you a great deal. He said no problem.

You may refuse me my second request if you refuse, I will completely understand he said what that might be. I said I would like for me buried next to Kimberly after a long pause he said that is ok. I replied thank you so very much, could you put that in writing, please. I will instruct my solicitor on the phone to prepare a letter with your request. I will be seeing my solicitor tomorrow, and I will give the letter to Tony my stepson to hand it over to you. I thanked him.

I hated every word with Holden in the conversation; I would have killed him when he used the words, my stepson.

The words Kimberly had written about John Holden blackmailing her into having sex with him. Fear was his weapon over her, rang in my head repeatedly. I had no hate for Kimberly. I had was everlasting love hate and anger was there for John Holden after reading my Kimberly letter. I stood up and started walking to the cemetery about 15 minutes away. With every single step, I made going to the cemetery. What was in my head, John Holden blackmailing Kimberly into having sex and fear was his weapon.

I stood at Kimberly grave blubbering with tears flowing down my face. I jumped my mobile phone started to ring it was Tony asking me if I was ok I could not speak. Tony asked where you are dad, cemetery, crying into my mobile phone. Suddenly my phone went dead Tony was standing at my side. I turned to Tony and held him as tight as I could, Tony, held me tight. Tony said, dad, I am taking you home.

Dad had stopped crying. I asked him why. He said he had read the letter from your mother. Dad, it cannot be so bad. My dad looked at me both his eyes filling up again. Tony, I think you should read your mothers letter, Dad no, that is between you and Mum. Tony, I want you to read it, if that is what you what Dad I would read it.

My dad went and poured out two large glasses of whisky handing one to me I said I do not want it, Dad replied, son, I would keep hold of it, while you are reading the letter. Tony started to read his mother's letter, which was to his father. He started drinking whisky. Tony looked over at me several times. He must have read it at least twice or three times now on his second large glass of whisky not saying a word for a good five minutes. Tony turned to look at his father. He was looking at photographs of his mother.

Dad, I know now Mum, loved you so very much I thought she loved John Holden. He was blackmailing my mother about some secret mum had. Yes, as Mum used to say. Now thinking about it, he brought my love through buying me presents it he did not love me, it was bribery. I now see why she did everything he told her to do.

I also now know why Mum watched us leaving John Holden house. Mum loved us both very deeply. Dad, I will see you tomorrow, please tell me about your life with Mum the good and the bad. When Tony got home, he sat on the sofa with his head in his hands and burst into tears Kate held him tightly. Tony told Kate what was in the letter to his father. Kate then realised how much Tony mother loved his father and Kate started to cry.

Tony came to the house with Kate every night after work. I told Tony everything little detail from the day I meet his mother all those before. The days worn on Tony and Kate realised how much I loved his mother, now hate and anger was building up in Tony.

Months went by my dad started to change dad was not sick, not medical sick. It was the sickness of the loss of Kimberly. He was slowly dying in front of myself I could do nothing. My dad had become a broken man all his memories and feelings about my mother. Dad thoughts and memories slowly drained out of him. He was always looking at photographs of Kimberly and me also watching videos of the three of us before I was eight. Dad had kept all there love letters dad, reading them repeatedly.

Dad had been planning something for weeks. He sold all his goods and paid every penny into my bank account. I did not know at the time what dad was doing. He told me to take anything from the house that I wanted. Dad had gathered all the photos, tapes, and letters about his and mums life before I was eight.

Dad had sat down and written me a letter just like Mum, passing it to his solicitor with instruction to hand it to me in person at my father's funeral. With all the photos, tapes and letters about his and mums life before I was eight.

Dad was dying in front of me. Within six months of mums passing away, Dad bought eight jerry cans and filled them with petrol. He emptied the jerry cans in every room of the rented house, set fire to the house, and killed himself with an injection watching the house burn. The official report was Dad died of unsound mind after the loss of his ex-wife. Dad died of a losing mum with a broken heart. I buried Dad next to Mum, Holden, attended the funeral I hated him for being there.

After dad's funeral, the solicitor handed me the letter from dad. He had written to me, giving me all the photos, tapes and, letters dad had requested him to do. About his and mums life before I was eight. I was at home with Kate reading dads letter to me. It was very distressing, and so very hard to read it, taken me hours and hours I was sobbing at every single word. Kate also read the letter she was as upset as I was.

A week or so past I returned to my stepfather house with only one purpose to seek out photos, tapes, and letters after my eighth birthday. I asked John Holden may I see them and I take them home with me he did not object. He said to have a good look everywhere and take what you want. As I was searching, I came across a shoebox hidden away in a wardrobe.

I opened it there was letters written to my dad, each letter tied with a ribbon tape with a blue bow on each, it said to my darling husband, Robert. All dated the day mum left dad only difference in each letter was the year from my eighth birthday. Underneath was an envelope on the front it said my loving family inside photographs of my mother dad and me. I removed all of them.

The tapes I watched very closely mother never seemed happy being close to John Holden. It was telling me everything that my mother said was true. I decided on revenge for my mothers and fathers sake. I now wanted to find out everything about Mums secret. I knew the time-period about two or three months before my eighth birthday. I went to the library reading, all four local papers in the area looking for something that may have caused my mums secret.

I read all the newspapers one at a time, making sure I did not miss anything; I was on my third paper and came across a story that happed two months before my birthday. I finished reading all the newspapers, and return to the third paper I decided this was mums secret. I wanted to find out the truth the only one who knew for sure was my stepfather I get him to tell me. I had to come up with a plan.

I was watching a movie with torture in using electricity problem solved. I went out and bought cables, switches, brackets, screws, and clamps. I called off at my stepfather house after work I let myself in; he was out, straight up to the attic making sure the old chairs were still there and checked the power socket was still working. I left the house. I purchased eight jerry cans and filled them with petrol just as dad did.

I booked a week of work and asked Kate would she mind, if I went on a fishing trip for a week she said to be back as soon as you can I would miss you so very much. I packed and loaded everything I needed and booked the lodge in the middle of nowhere for a week next to a trout lake. The owner had told me where the keys were under the stone to the right of the door. I had given a map and all the details of the lodge to my wife just in case. I finished work that Friday at 5 pm with a 2-hour drive to the fishing lodge. I drove in the opposite direction to the late fish market. I purchased 14 trout returned to the fishing lodge, placed the 14 trout into the freezer. I then returned to my stepfather house.

I had nine days to get the information out of John Holden.

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